Dubious, Blue Funk, Green

Dubious = Un-confident, doubtful
Blue-Funk = Stagnant, Stale
Green = young, new, blooming

Last week Marked my one year anniversary at the spa I work for. I was super excited, and proud to say, that, after four years of staying home, "I have worked here for 1 year!". I have been waiting for my level of confidence to rise, and my knowledge of what I do to be obvious to everyone, without me going on like a know-it-all. Foolishly, I thought it would all magically hit long before my anniversary. I was wayyyy off!! Did I mention I just graduated a year ago, too?

While I have learned a great deal, mostly thanks to my aggressive (and possibly a little crazy) Russian boss, I'm still lacking something. Confidence!!! I should be retaining more clients, but my self doubt doesn't allow me to draw them back in. AHEM..."I'd like to see you in two or three weeks to work on that shoulder, and keep it loosened up." Not so hard to say in theory, but in my brain, I'm already being rejected by the client (which rarely actually happens). I absolutely believe that what I do helps people. It not only helps with just relaxing, it enables the body to remember how to function properly. I have a complete presentation on how massage is beneficial, no, essential to maintaining health on the tip of my brain. I go to work, perform my massage, and lose all confidence, I feel like it is day 1 at the spa.
Tonight, I picked up my Massage and Bodywork that I usually skim through. I pored over each page trying to find my confidence. I found it!? Maybe (?) I rarely educate my clients on what to do to avoid reocurring muscle soreness, or injuries. And yes, I have to remember I'm still green, an infant in MT-world. I know what will help my clients, in the noggin, but hate to say I KNOW IT, but I do, and my clients need to know I do, or I'll just be like any other quack, or gimmick pusher. I KNOW massage works, come on over, I'll show you, and tell you all about it! :)